a retrospective a year and almost a half later

What amazes me the most is how people really don't get what this is. Some do occasionally grasp the loss but many say things like "Oh I know, I lost my mom, my sister, my cousin, my dog". The loss for my girls and their mates was significantly felt I know. More so than most as Dave had a special impact of his family. Loss is definitely loss but when your heart mate/soul mate leaves this world you are left with the void, th loss and without your constant "other voice and companion". If you have had a great marriage, and I did, we did, we had disagreements but never, ever a moment when we knew we weren't in it for the long haul. Ok, maybe a minute but the point is , we were in it, a commitment and loyalty. We had each other's backs and we there for each other every step of the way. Encouragement, chastisement, advice, laughs, hugs, kisses, intimacy and more. The connection on the spiritual level was profound. I always thought everyone had that, I realize now that this is not the case. People bitch about their partners and continue on in constant struggle and turmoil. Why? Life is just so short. Dave I miss you eery day in every way. I am going along and moving forward a bit easier these days. It will never be better, only a bit gentler until that time of day, that moment when I want to hug you, touch your hand and lay gently next to you in bed, just knowing tomorrow will be another day and you will be by my side. I'm grateful for the time we had. The wonderful children, grandchildren, friends and memories that was our life together. Now I am alone. I hold those memories in my heart and mind. Missing you , Sandy and Felix everyday in so many little ways. Thank you for your love and loyalty and friendship. <3

Wonderful vacation, time of my life...

Have you ever gone on a wonderful vacation and had the best time you have ever had in your life? Sure, maybe you had a rainy day here or there but that gave you time to pause, regroup and be thankful. However, when you stopped to reassess the time, a truly great vacation was enjoyed. I've come to realize that my 40 plus years with Dave was just that, a blessed gift of a vacation. Wonderful memories, photos along the way and a very safe harbor to enjoy my days. My kids,grandkids, special photos, wonderful meals and special places all have a glowing space in my heart and mind. I was lucky. I was happy, I was safe and I was completely loved. Now, to carry on. Soon we will gather for our family vacation once again. Dave, you will be with us in our minds and hearts but you will still be sorely missed. We will create new memories while treasuring the ones we had with you. I will keep my promise to you, to do the small things you asked me to do and because of that, keep you alive with us. I love you my soul mate and always will, until we meet again.